Out of the Mouths of Babes

Today I am offering you a posting from a regular guest blogger who we haven't actually heard from for a while. Emma Crees has always been an amazing blogger, wise with words and wise with thoughts. I really enjoyed her blog post today, it's quite interesting to realise how children see the world. I think this blog is one for mothers with a connection to disability, as we can all understand that sometimes the dandiest things come out of the mouth of a child. (Please check out Emma's blog site which has recently been renovated, at http://writerinawheelchair.blogspot.com.)  

Emma Crees

A good friend of mine has a four year old son. I’ve known her (and him!) since he was about 16 months old so he’s grown up knowing me.


I use a manual chair a lot of the time and that’s the chair I prefer. But I also don’t drive due to my CP (spatial awareness problems meant when I tried it wasn’t a good idea and I’ve never been back) so I have a powerchair as well which I use most of the time I’m out and about. R (my friend’s little boy) has seen me in both my chairs although I think he’s probably more used to my powerchair.

If you ask him about my powerchair, he’ll tell you it’s a wheelchair. He’ll also show you where the horn on it is and he frequently climbs up for hugs. But if you ask him what my manual chair is? That’s a wheelbarrow. He’s called it that several times even though we correct him whenever he does. It’s really cute and more than a little bit funny.

Then the other day I was talking to someone I volunteer with. She’d taken her granddaughter (I think she said she is 6) camping. Said granddaughter had been desperate for the loo so they’d parked in a disabled space. She said to me that there were about six free disabled spaces and it “wouldn’t matter” (I would have said something about that but you’ve got to pick your battles). Anyway, apparently she asked her granddaughter if she knew what disabled parking spaces were for or who disabled people are or some such, I forget exactly which. And she replied “those people who go round in wheelbarrows”.

I really, really love the way kids see disability and the way they react to it. It’s so refreshing. I wish more adults would take a lesson from their kids and realise that disability is different. But that’s not a big deal, it’s OK. Some do but not many.

And the “Wheelbarrow” comments I keep hearing about (if two kids saying it can be called keep hearing about) do amuse me and make me smile. I can’t remember the last time a TAB adults random disability comment made me smile and laugh like that. I wish I could.

Paula Apodaca - The Day I Drowned at Tin Can Beach

Hi everyone,

As you all know I have been lucky enough to have the wonderful Paula Apodaca writing for this blog, despite the fact that she has her own blog. Today I would like to share with you one of her wonderful successes. Her words and story has been entered on to the site/journal 'Breath & Shadow - A Journal of Disability Culture and Literature Spring 2010, Volume 7, Number 2. Not only do I commend her for her amazing job, I also want to help others to realise the fine ability she has to demonstrate and reveal the truth of disability, her experiences and the changes it has on ones life. I would like to suggest that you all check it out, it really is quite a marvellous achievement for her and I feel very lucky that we have her as a guest blogger on this site. Check out her story titled 'The Day I Drowned at Tin Can Beach'.

Thanks,

Alyssa

The Story of Jason Ballerini

I have a real treat for the readers of this blog today. I was lucky enough to get a contribution from Jason Ballerini who is an inspiration and prime example of a strong person with a disability. Let him represent all those who are feeling like the challenge is too much. I think that his story really represents the common saying that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. He is truly fabulous and I am very happy to share with you his story!

Jason Ballerini

As a fit, active 16yr old, with my life ahead of me, social work or having a career in the disability sector were the last things on my mind. After a diving accident in 1996 left me a quadriplegic, not only did I lose the ability to walk, I felt as though all my options, dreams and aspirations washed away down that creek as well.

It was not long into my rehabilitation that I began to feel this passion inside of my stomach, the passion to overcome the social attitudes and barriers I was now facing. From that day on it was my mission to never let anything stop me from achieving what I wanted. Although motivated to achieve, I was still uncertain in what? It wasn’t until the last month of my rehab, my rehab lasted 4 months when I was told I’d be there for 8-10, that I realised a lot of the other patients were coming to me for advice, a chat or for guidance and hope. It was then I realised that social work, in particular, the disability sector was my calling.

After completing a bachelor of Social Work, I began working in the Disability Advocacy field. Through my experience, study and work I have had the opportunity to gain an understanding of the demands on the disability sector, but also to advance the rights of people with disabilities in our community. In trying to set an example that we are only limited by our own imagination and that the possibilities are endless to those who work hard to achieve their dreams.

Often we see people with disability who attempt to "pass" in the non- disabled world, who want nothing to do with disability groups, especially consumer-run groups. Of course people who have invisible disabilities are more able to hide their disabilities, if they choose to do so. It's a bit ridiculous for a wheelchair user like myself to consider hiding the fact.

But it leads me to wonder why I would want to. Why wouldn't I want people to know that I have a disability, that I accept it as part of who I am and that I am proud of who I am? Why wouldn't I want anyone to know that I confront physical and attitudinal barriers every day of my life and that I identify with strong individuals who are part of the disability rights movement?

I don't hide my disability and I don't "overcome" it either. It's just something I live with. I am not handicapped. Society is handicapped when it shuts out people like me. I am not physically challenged. Tri-athletes and mountain climbers are physically challenged. And I'm certainly no more differently- abled than anyone is from anyone else. No. I just simply have a disability. I don't deny it, or hide it.

Being "seen" as a person with a disability is a conscious choice, whether or not one's disability is visible. For the way others view us is closely connected with the way we view ourselves. Choosing to see disability as a part of who we are and recognise our strengths and abilities, is all part of a process. We need to recognise that having a disability is not a negative thing.

Looking back at the last 14yrs, I can acknowledge has been mighty tough, but it has also been the best 14yrs as well. I have grown so much, and the passion to succeed in this industry is as strong as ever. I have loved every minute of studying and working in this field, and the feeling of helping someone, advocating for change and changing attitudes and policy still drives me to get up every morning and go to work.

Guest Posting from Alison Richardson

After contacting the Coordinator of the First Flight Crew I have come back with a prompt response from Ms Alison Richardson herself!!! Not only did she offer a bit of information about the fantastic group, but she also offered some wonderful pictures to be put on my blog. Special mention to the verse offered by Ana Nguyen at the end of the post. I highly recommend you check them our yourselves!

Alison Richardson

First Flight Crew are an eight piece hip hop outfit from Sydney managed Accessible Arts’ Creative Program Coordinator for Western Sydney, Alison Richardson. “First Flight Crew is about reaching new audiences outside of the disability sector & bringing to them an explosion of beat boxing, rap, dance & projections exposing the talent an spunk of this unique group” says Alison.

The crew are taught by legendary Aussie hip hop artist, Morganics & sprung out of their strong desire to dance, create original music, rap and beat box. The crew was formed in late 2008 & have performed from Bondi to Blacktown including Sydney’s largest Hip Hop festival, Platform 3 at CarriageWorks, Hip Hop projections 5 at Parramatta Riverside & as part of Powerhouse Museum’s recent 80s exhibition.

First Flight Crew member, Ana Nguyen says of being in the crew, “We want tell stories & we want to give the voiceless a chance to say so. We want to do something that will stand out from the crowd. We want to give the crowd the best impression as possible.”

For more information on the First Flight Crew contact Alison on arichardson@aarts.net.au or call 9251 6499 (ext112) or check out the Facebook site or website.

More from Ana:

I hope that this is a way to educate others in some way

And this proves that we can do anything.

We'll break the rules and the stereotypes...

And by being part of the First Flight Crew,

I'm going to prove the critics wrong

That yes, we can do anything.

This is the record of the truth, I can tell you to be honest.

We want tell stories & we want to give the voiceless a chance to say so.

We want to do something that will stand out from the crowd.

We want to give the crowd the best impression as possible.

That’s what I want.

What a great sneak peak : )

The Kindness of Strangers

As you are all aware, I have been spending quite a bit of time on Emma Crees's blog, indulging in her fantastic words about the experience of disability. This little blog post that she sent me for this blog is really quite moving and nice, representing those moments where humanity remembers you!!!!

Emma Crees

I’m sure a lot of disabled people have trouble with people on the street. Or maybe I’m wrong and it’s just me. It’s something I find quite hard to deal with at times.

The ones that mean well and you know they do but you just wish they’d leave you alone. You don’t want them just grabbing the back of your wheelchair and pushing. And don’t take over and pack my shopping for me. The reason why I’m in a wheelchair is none of your business. That sort of thing.

And then there’s the big one. When you’re just sitting there minding your own business perfectly fine, perfectly happy. And people come up and ask if you’re ok, do you need any help?
They wouldn’t do it to an able-bodied person would they? I always wonder and then decide that no they wouldn’t. So it annoys me that they do it to me. After all, if I needed help I’d ask. Leave me alone. Of course, I don’t say things like that I usually just mutter “no” or “I’m fine” and then ignore them.

Only… I’m having to change my mind about that sort of thing.

Several years ago a good friend and I went to London for the day. We took my manual chair and it broke whilst we were walking back to the station. Looking at it we were pretty sure if we got me standing up we might be able to do a temporary fix (which actually didn’t turn out to be the case). There were some railing I could lean on nearby but we couldn’t get me there easily. So we stopped a passer by and asked if she could help. She took one look at my wheelchair and just went “it’s broken” and walked off.

Last week my powerchair broke down in the middle of town. I was stranded by myself. It took quite a while for me to track down a family member to come rescue me and I did get hold of them for them to get to me.

Loads of people stopped and asked if I needed help. Even when my Mum was down with me they still stopped to ask. Before she got there two different sets of people spent a long time separately looking at my chair and trying to see if they could spot a problem.

I still think a lot of people on the street are rude and that they shouldn’t just help without asking. As for the questions, most of the time it’s wrong. But after what happened last week and remembering back to that day in London when we tried to get help and couldn’t? I’m trying to change my attitude about the people who mean well and offer unwanted help. Because I was very grateful for that help last week and it isn’t always there.

Sometimes, the kindness of strangers is a very good thing.

Introducing Guest Blogger - Sandy

I came across the wonderful words of Sandy when I was looking for some inspiration and great experience for this blog. Sandy has her own blog 'A Glass Half Shattered' and the experiences she talks about are like nothing that I have read before. The way that she describes her experiences with Borderline Personality Disorder are really quite extraordinary. I was not aware that one could really portray such emotions and live their experience through words. I promptly invited her to come across to this blog for a special posting, and I think that the readers will not be disapointed. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy and suggest that you go and check out her blog yourself!

I started writing A Glass Half Shattered because I wanted to humanize mental illness and help shatter the stigma that surrounds it. That is why I chose to use my real name and face on my blog, even though my sister and mother don’t always like what I have to say.


Writing is a way to help me cope with having borderline personality disorder (BPD). Putting my thoughts down in my blog helps keep them from getting lost inside my head. When I am anxious or my mind is racing, writing always helps to calm me down. I believe everyone needs a positive outlet when it comes to managing this disorder. Writing definitely helps to keep me away from the negative ones.

I was diagnosed with BPD this year, following years of misdiagnosis and repeated hospitalizations for depression and suicide attempts. I spent years self-harming, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, and trapped in the cycles of anorexia and bulimia. I often dissociated and was disconnected from my feelings. I would rather feel nothing than deal with the traumas from my past. Unfortunately, that meant I was shut off from the good feelings as well.


I had no stable sense of identity, which left me empty inside. Since I had no idea who I was, other people became my mirror on how to be. My relationships were often co-dependent, as I feared abandonment and being alone.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), a new treatment for BPD developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, has changed all that. DBT helps me learn to tolerate distress, regulate my emotions, and have healthier interactions with other people. So far, it’s working. The urges to self-sabotage through drinking, self-harm, and eating disorders have lessened and been replaced with skills to help me manage my life.

I am now a wife and mother and have a stable marriage and career as a paralegal. While I still have days where I dissociate and want nothing to do with myself, things are getting better. I believe recovery is a process, not a place. I am slowly re-connecting to my feelings and myself, which is helping me better connect to my family. Attachment, which has always been hard for me, is a risk I am starting to take. I am also starting to form my own identity and am becoming more assertive in expressing my true self.

I believe that a BPD diagnosis does not have to ruin your life. Sure there are the Glen-Close-in-Fatal-Attraction stereotypes, the Girl, Interrupted craze, and doctors who throw up their hands at hearing the word “borderline.” But we can overcome these stigmas by telling the truth about what it is really like to have BPD. I believe all of us have a story about what it is like to develop, live with, and recover from mental illness, and those stories need to be told. It is the only way to shatter the stigma often associated with these illnesses, and it just may help inspire some people along the way.

Measure What Matters!

There are a lot of courageous people in Australia and all over the world that have treated disability as an opportunity! And it is an opportunity, an opportunity for new things, for new memories, for new experiences, new challenges and new achievements.

I would like to make particular reference to one extraordinary individual who has proved that anything is possible: Nick Vujicic. Nick was born in Melbourne without arms or legs and without any medical explanation as to why this was.

In his story Nick said:

"Having had an uneventful pregnancy and no family history to expect this condition, imagine the shock his parents felt when they saw their first born, brand new baby boy, only to find he was what the world would consider imperfect and abnormal."

Although Nick experienced the many challenges that come with his disability, he overcame this with a remarkable ability to do all the things that he wanted to, and more. In fact, Nick was nominated to receive the 'Young Australian of the Year' award in 2005 and has made more accomplishments then what are typical of a person twice his age.

Nick puts his accomplishments and victory over his struggles down to the people that have supported him:

"According to Nick the victory over his struggles throughout his journey, as well as the strength and passion he has for life can be credited to his faith, his family, his friends and the many people he's encountered during his life who have encouraged him along the way."

The most important thing that can be taken from his story is that our own heart and the heart of others are the tools to help us overcome our challenges, they are what makes us remarkable and unique.

One should never measure oneself according to how tall we stand, how much money we have, our possessions or how intelligent we are. The best way to measure ones self and ones ability is by measuring what exists within the heart.
Check out his story: