The Dating Game

Happy Monday everyone! I can't believe it's the end of January already. No doubt the supermarkets are already getting filled up with Easter eggs (not that I'm complaining, I LOOOOOOOVE Cadbury Creme Eggs, LOOOOOOOOOVE them.) Anyway, today I have another guest post for you written by Leonie Hazelton. This post was inspired by recent media reports of dating websites specifically for people with disability.

Leonie Hazelton

 There are loads of dating sites on the ‘net at the moment claiming they can find love for everyone.  There are even sites specifically for people with disability claiming they can match people with disability with other “like” people with disability.  I’m not really sure if I’m a fan of stuff like that, because if we’re all into inclusivity, I don’t think launching dating sites specifically for one group whose wants and desires are no different from people without disability is necessarily moving forward.

While I appreciate that it’s safer to date or look for a potential match with someone with a similar disability or condition to you, I don’t think it’s necessarily productive.  What if you don’t find someone?  It has nothing to do with your disability, only the fact that you have different attractions and interests to other people on the site.  Also, what about us antipodeans?  Most of these dating and disability sites are US based so it is difficult for us to find a mate with a similar disability to us, let alone being on the same side of the globe as us.

I had a quick look at one of these said sites and A) discovered that there are Australians and B) they’re pretty forward about (in the site’s words) their “Challenges.” 

I’m still not sure if I like the idea of specifically disability dating, which brings up the question of disclosure.  “When do I tell him/her that I have XYZ disability/condition?” 

I really do appreciate that we want someone who understands our needs/wants/desires, but I honestly think that we should not be restricted to one particular group in society.  I personally believe that we can educate in all areas of our life.  If that means going out on a date with a person without disability and showing them that “Yes we want “it” too” than that’s a way we can teach others.  If on the other hand, a person rejects you outright because of your disability, maybe it should just be chalked up as not being worth it because the person’s not going to respect/want you anyway regardless.  If someone really wants you, it should be with no strings attached, end of chat.  Also isn’t dating about taking chances and risks?  You may get hurt, sure but that’s the way dating is, disability or no disability. 

I’m interested to know what others out there in blogland think.  Do you think you can start an account on a mainstream dating site and disclose later or is it safer to do the disability dating site thing where there’s a field in the profile stating what disability you have so it’s out there from the beginning?

People with Disability in the Australia Day Honours List

Australian readers will have enjoyed their Australia Day public holiday yesterday, a day of BBQs, listening to the JJJ Hottest 100 and generally enjoying the sunshine. International readers may not be aware of Australia Day and it's history, so you might like to read more about it here. 

One important aspect of Australia Day is the Australia Day Honours List, in which Australians are commended for their contributions to the ongoing development of our nation. 

In Australia, we have plenty of people with disability doing things to not only improve the lives of people with disability, but everyone else as well.  The people listed below have been honoured in the 2010 Australia Day Honours list.  Below is a short description of their achievements.

Professor Ron McCallum (AO) (Senior Australian of the Year)

 Professor McCallum received his award for his commitment to the rights of working people.  He was the first totally blind person to gain a full professorship in any Australian and New Zealand university.  He went on to become the dean of law at Sydney University, where he specialised in industrial law.  He is currently the chair on the monitoring committee for the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.  He is also involved with 2RPH (Radio for the Print Handicapped) Vision Australia and the NSW Disability Council.

“Uncle” Lester Bostock

Uncle Lester received his award for services to the media, indigenous people and people with disability.  He was the first indigenous president of SBS radio and producer of radio programs.  He has been a board member of the Aboriginal Disability Network since its founding in 2002 and has been a member of People With Disability Australia since 1995, becoming a life member in 2005.

Joe Mannix

Joe received his award for services to the community through advocacy, social welfare and disability services.  He has served on the boards of organisations such as the Disability Discrimination Legal Centre, People With Disability Australia, Glebe Youth Services, Rozelle Neighbourhood Centre and the Tenants Union of NSW. Joe also tutored seniors computer programs in 2006.

(This information has been taken from www.gg.gov.au)

IDEAS NSW would like to offer congratulations to Professor McCallum, Uncle Lester Bostock and Joe Mannix!  

Mental illness is not contagious, mental illness is not a choice, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

I recently came across Kim Hix's blog and I really appreciated her open and honest descriptions of her experiences being a parent of a child with a mental health diagnosis. Kim has approached parenting with a great amount of creativity, and I loved reading about the book she has written for her son called "No one is perfect, and you are a great kid". Doesn't that say it all? I am really pleased to have Kim as a guest blogger today. Thanks Kim!

Kim Hix 

I was asked to write a post so kindly by Emma and am more than honored that she asked. When deciding what to write about she suggested what I know, or what I am passionate about, so that was pretty easy. I am passionate about my kids, and especially bringing awareness to Mental Health issues in our children. More specifically to "Stomp Out Stigma" (see our cause on Facebook and join http://www.causes.com/causes/375639) 

I am passionate about this subject because my oldest child, Zack, now 15 was born with and has developed an array of mental/emotional illnesses. To date, he is diagnosed with IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder ) OCD, ADHD, Severe Anxiety and a strep infection brought about TourettesDisorder Spectrum (this is called PANDAS, Pediatric Autoimmune Disorder Associated with Strep), as well as 3 head traumas. 

So, with all of this, needless to say our lives are quite chaotic and uncertain most of the time. However, Zack is quite a loving, HUGE hearted, caring, smart, and talented boy. Life with a child such as mine is "Predictably Unpredictable" as parents who love a child with any kind of disability will know and be able to relate to. I have devoted my life, since his birth, to helping him to become the best person possible. I am also determined to help other families on this same journey realize the are NOT alone, and to help others that do not have intense children as I do, realize that inappropriate, bad behavior does NOT = a bad kid. So many people see only the behavior, usually exhibited when the child is unstable, as a child out of control, manipulative, mean, spoiled or attention seeking. In most cases this is not the true personality of the child. I want people to understand that some kids, as well as adults, simply can not control emotions, responses, reactions or behavior, not because they do not want to, but because their brain simply will not allow it. 

I can obviously go on about this subject for hours but will not do that here. I have started a blog to hopefully share our story with other families that are on the same journey we are, to let them know that their circumstances are NOT unique. Along with my site www.youareagreatkid.com that offers some resources as well as the childrens book I wrote for and about Zack to help other kids like him who feel different.  If we, as a society, talk more about this then the stigma will eventually fade. If you would like to read our story please follow our blog here:http://goodboyroy.wordpress.com/our-story-the-journey/ from the Goodboyroy.com site. And if you want to know what is GoodBoyRoy.com, well....you can find out about that too. 

Remember, you, as the parent, are your childs BEST advocate. The more you know, the better equiped you will be to help them and help others understand. I will leave you with this, our motto: Mental Illness is Not contagious, Mental Illness is NOT a choice, Knowledge is Power.