You Should Have Solid Tyres! 
Well, I'm back! Totally rested  and alive! The first semester of my marketing honours at university is  finished, and now all I have to do is conduct some large-scale research  and write a 20,000 word thesis. Yeah, fun times!
I really shouldn't  complain though, university is voluntary - self-inflicted pain, if you  like. There was however an incident that happened to me a few weeks ago  that was entirely involuntary, something that caused much more than a  slight inconvenience.
My brother Rory was  staying over ‘looking after me’ as my parents were away. And when I say  he was ‘looking after me’, all that usually involves is just ordering  pizza, listening to music and drinking beer. In disability circles, when  parents take a holiday it's called ‘respite’, though the connotations  of that make me sound like an ogre or something. Regardless, our weekend  was pretty relaxed - that was until we finally decided to brave the  outdoors and actually do something.
It was a leisurely walk  to the train station, picturesque even - with birds chirping away  happily. Unfortunately, after arriving at the station Rory looked down  and noticed a problem - a massive rivet had made its way into one of my  tyres! There are situations in life where all the options apparent suck.  Home was a 15 minute walk away, and in that time my tyre could have  deflated completely before we would have crossed all the main roads, let  alone before we arrived home. My parents were hours away, so calling  them was out of the question. So what did we do? We jumped on the train  and headed to the city.
I bet you are thinking  it was a stupid decision, but there was method to our madness. A great  organisation called Travellers Aid is situated at the heart of Flinders  Street Station (there is one in Southern Cross as well), they offer a  wide variety of services; including the rental of wheelchairs and  scooters, charging facilities and even personal care. Our logic was to  arrive at Travellers Aid and see if they could repair my tyre, or at  least put us in contact with someone who could.
So we boarded the train  and waited. A sinking feeling came over me, literally. My electric  wheelchair started developing a pronounced lean to the right as my tyre  quickly deflated. Rory started freaking out, repeatedly muttering “Aww  shit...” under his breath whilst I giggled nervously. I didn't dare  moving my chair, though I knew I would soon need to - it looked bad,  really bad.
A fellow passenger on  the train came over and informed us that we had a flat tyre situation on  our hands. I suppose I should be more appreciative of their sentiment,  but stating the obvious didn't help matters very much. Another passenger  was even less helpful, “I thought wheelchairs have solid tyres!” she  said, as she exited the train. Very funny! Thanks lady, thanks a lot.
As another wheelchair  commuter entered our train carriage we asked the driver if he wouldn't  mind helping us out when we arrived at our stop. He agreed, which was  cool - he also asked me why I didn't have solid tyres, it wasn't funny  anymore.
It was the moment of  truth, we arrived at our stop and it was finally time to see if driving  on the flat-as-a-pancake tyre was possible. The train driver was patient  as we left the carriage, which was lucky because it certainly took a  while. I'm not quite sure how to explain the feeling, and the noise.  Every rotation of the tyre produced a sickening rubbery squeak, and as  my top speed was cut so dramatically, the arduous journey to Travellers  Aid took at least 15 minutes, when it would normally take just one. The  journey wasn't made any faster by the train attendant with ill informed  but good intentions.
To be honest, we didn't  really need anyone to accompany us. We knew where Travellers Aid was  because I had been there countless times. But people often like doing  their good deed for the day, even if it is not really needed - so we let  the attendant tag along. Bad move.
I swear it; the same  comment spewed from his mouth almost every metre we travelled – “Wow! I  thought wheelchairs would have solid tyres!” He was driving me insane!  “Can't you get solid tyres for them? You should have had them fitted.” I  had a finite amount of smiles left at this stage of the journey, and as  we finally reached Travellers Aid and ‘thanked’ the attendant for  annoying the absolute shit out of us, he left with these parting words –  “Hopefully you get it repaired soon, but I recommend getting solid  tyres!”
I didn't want to drive  on the flat tyre for a second longer, for fear of damaging the wheel  itself. As such, it was a welcome relief when we entered Travellers Aid.  There was no stating the obvious, and the lack of snide remarks and  queries regarding solid tyres was very refreshing. Unfortunately though,  there wasn't really a solution to my pretty obvious problem either.  They didn't have the tools to provide a full repair service, but they  did have the option of wheelchair rental.
We decided to take a  break from the ordeal and get some lunch. After all, it was why we  headed to the city in the first place. I felt strange being in a manual  wheelchair again after what must have been at least 10 years; it  reminded me of the good old days. Especially because it was my older  brother pushing me around, although in this instance he is no longer a  kid and instead has a lustrous beard. What did carryover from childhood  to adulthood however, was an aggressive streak in his wheelchair  pushing.
It is no stretch to say  I'm a bit of a control freak, so when my very mobility was taken away  from me and put into the hands of a madman (Rory), things sure became  stressful. The heart of Melbourne city is a pretty busy place, with  frantic pedestrians darting around at obtuse angles whilst  simultaneously chatting on their phones, taking photos in front of  landmarks, or listening to their iPods. There were countless close  shaves, a couple of clipped ankles and one or two dented shins. Every  collision resulted in me receiving a dirty look, but all I could do was  hold my hands up and plead innocence- after all, I wasn't in control.
Nevertheless, we arrived  at one of our favourite cafes safely, and found a great position out  the front near an outdoor heater. This isn't a food blog, thank God -  there is no shortage of them on the Internet! What I will say however,  is that I am a coffee connoisseur (wanker) and I enjoy quality food -  the cafe we frequent passes with flying colours.
What didn''t pass  however, was the comfort of my manual wheelchair seat. It makes sense  though, because my scoliosis has made my back uniquely proportioned  (buggered), it juts out like the hunchback of Notre Dame. With that  said, I suppose it makes sense that I normally require a fitted seat to  be comfortable. Still, regardless of the quality of the food and coffee,  squirming around in a seat certainly detracted from the fine dining  experience somewhat.
It was at this point  when we decided to ring up an insurance company. The people at  Travellers Aid told us that they may be able to offer wheelchair repair  services. The phone call appeared to be promising at first, as they  indeed had roadside assistance for wheelchairs and scooters. It was  going to cost us money, but nothing in life ever comes for free, and  that's certainly the case with disability related dramas.
It was organised, or so  we thought. There was a problem though, the repair car would only meet  us parallel to a road. You may be thinking that it sounds fair enough,  and normally I would agree - but they were adamant that they could only  repair my electric wheelchair on the roadside. No, we could not meet  them at the car and show them to my electric wheelchair - that was far  too logical for an insurance company. You never know, we could be a  threat to them! Everyone knows that when grown men or women leave a car  to repair a wheelchair it poses a serious threat to their health and  safety! I'm not sure, you'd think those working for an insurance company  would have a pretty decent insurance policy, but I digress...
Rory tried to reason  with them, and tried to use logic. We asked; what if I was alone and my  electric wheelchair had run out of batteries? How would I meet them at  the roadside? I suppose I should have realised that logic and insurance  companies are not often synonymous with each other. I thought it was  pretty simple though; I didn't want to risk driving my chair on a flat  tyre and damaging my metal wheel, whilst trying to find the repair  people on a crowded street, people who are stupidly legally obliged to  stay inside their warm and cosy car.
My electric wheelchair  was at the largest train station in Melbourne and in an easily  identifiable location. If they wanted our longitudel and latitude, or  our GPS coordinates, we would have most likely been able to provide  them. But no, they couldn't leave their car.
Bullshit.
So what did we do? We  cancelled the policy, and told them that it was rubbish. The whole phone  conversation taught us a lesson though, the next time your wheelchair  breaks down, make sure you have the foresight to ensure that it breaks  down parallel to a road.
Our only option now was  to wait for the parents to arrive, and bring with them a new tyre.  Luckily they were headed back to Melbourne anyway, but they were still a  few hours away - A few arduous hours sitting in an uncomfortable manual  wheelchair.
Nothing very noteworthy  happened, we cruised the streets aimlessly as night began to fall. We  observed the weird and wonderful inhabitants of Melbourne; the homeless  and the higher-ups, the teenagers and the tourists. It was getting  desperate and cold – so beer was consumed to warm our weary hearts. Rory  and I almost resorted to drinking in an alley, but we didn't feel quite  that homeless - commonsense prevailed as our parents finally arrived  two hours after the insurance debacle.
The story from here on  is simple (and a bit boring), it literally took five minutes for my dad  to replace my tyre. Better still, we didn't need to meet him at the car!  Then we drove home. Exciting!
We kept the offending rivet for posterity, and my dad even scanned it for me. Here it is, in all its magnified glory:
So, that's about a wrap.  All we wanted to do was head to the city, grab a coffee and maybe get  some lunch. But as always, the most memorable times are those that are  not planned.
But what if I was by  myself when it all happened? What if I was nowhere near Travellers Aid?  Then what would I do? Maybe I would decompose, leaving just a skeleton  as the repair men in the insurance car would wait in comfort? Flat tyres  don't happen very often, and for that I am thankful. But there really  are no options in the case of emergency, so what could I do? 
Maybe I should get solid tyres?